Friday, June 18, 2010

Why does my Friday feel like a Monday?

You know the mood you get when Monday rolls around? Well I am in that funk today, well I guess I have been in it all week. I don't think it is anything certain, just a bunch of little stuff that seems to be getting the best of me. I am feeling guilty about staying home and taking care of the boys (I know, I know!) Honestly, I don't like the thought of anyone, either than myself, taking care of Brycen because he is to me still a baby. I know that I am very fortunate to be able to stay home with them, but part of me feels like I need to get a job. I honestly feel like I am not contributing enough to the family. I feel guilty going back to AR so often and I feel guilty for spending WAY too much money while I am there. And then I am here in Oceanside. I am trying to meet new people so that way we have people to invite over to the house and do things with. You know, be sociable! ha! But, it isn't working out too well. I went to a playgroup today. We went swimming at the pool and Thompson had a blast. I met a few women, but none that I really clicked with. Is that weird? You know when you find a friend and it just "clicks"? These were nice girls, they had children Thompson's age and they looked like decent mothers. (I am sorry, but I refuse to be around people who will not take proper care of their children! It is amazing some of the people I have met out here that just let their kids run wild in our neighborhood and don't even care to check on them!! It irritates me to say the least!) But none of them I could see being a long term friend. We are going to church on Sunday. (I know, finally!) I have picked out 3 different churches to try, but I am really hoping that we find a great church this weekend. I want a bigger church, something that offers children things to do. A MOPS( Mothers of Preschoolers would be great!) group or something like that. I know that I am just feeling down and it will just take time.

Another thing that has really gotten to me is Baby Cohen. He was born last week and had several heart defects. He has already undergone so many surgeries and my heart is just breaking for him and his family. The latest report was that they have basically told the family that he will not survive. I know that God is the ONLY one in control. I pray for a miracle for this baby boy! Please, please pray for this family as well.

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