I hate this part...

I love more than anything to come home and visit. But I HATE leaving. In my mind, it gets easier each time I have to go. But it never really does. Especially this time since I know we won't be back for a while. And I know that it will be even harder to leave each time now that Brycen will be there.

I think it is even harder knowing that we won't be here for the holidays. I have never missed Christmas and when we pulled up to the house the other night when we got here I just cried. I love seeing all of my mom's decorations and getting together with all of the family. I love that Thompson gets to experience that. So knowing that we won't get to be here for any of just breaks my heart.

I am a big girl and I know that I am not the first person to not be with their family for the holidays. And I know that it will all be ok. It's just hard.

Oh, it just makes me sad. That's all there is to it. I am excited to have my mom come out when Brycen is born. And shortly after, my dad and sisters will make their way out. I guess I can just look at all of the great things coming (Brycen) and be thankful for that.

Please keep us in your thoughts tomorrow. We are beginning our roadtrip back to CA and I am dreading it. I am hoping that Nemo lasts atleast 12 more times in the DVD player. I am hoping that my feet, ankles, legs, and back last through the trip. I am hoping Robert's sanity and good driving lasts as well. We are having to pull a small U-haul trailer behind us and I am nervous. We have never pulled a trailer and I hope my husband knows what he is doing. Oh goodness. Pray for my nerves. I know that between everything I will be one emotional basketcase!